bowling event and fundraiser...

i'm straying from the true purpose of this blog (which, fyi, is to post letters to my children), but it's for a great cause!  if you want to learn more about the bowling event and how you can participate, click here:

Strikes to Save the Orphan - 2012

we are hoping to raise money to contribute to the care of over 100 more children that The Raining Season will be taking in at the new center.  that means TRS will be providing care for over 200 orphaned children, and you can help feed them, clothe them, and love them by forming a team or becoming a sponsor.

we are so thankful for your consideration!

meanwhile, back at the ranch...

dear munchkins,

your dad called you that today and i liked it.  my dad used to call us that, too!

we've been busy preparing our minds, hearts, and home for you guys.  we have no idea when we'll get to use all these new skills and knowledge, but hopefully some time the first half of next year!  we're nearing completion of our homestudy, so that's wonderful.  we've decided to stay in our current house and live on top of each other in the name of love and transitioning.  dad and i thought it might actually be a good thing to squeeze all six of us into our house so there's nowhere to escape!

speaking of houses, we understand you are at the new compound and in your new apartment units!  so exciting!  kadey, uncle andrew says you are doing so well.  he has so kindly been asking about you each week and inquiring about your health and behavior, and he has nothing but good things to say!  even mollynette says your hair is growing and you're being a kind girl.  makes me so proud!

we've also been busy organizing some events to raise money for The Covering.  we are so incredibly blessed to have friends and family who are dedicated to bringing awareness to kids in Sierra Leone and The Raining Season's work there.  in October we are having a songwriter event to benefit TRS, and in November we're having a bowling tournament!  it makes me so happy to think that you all may be here in time to participate next year!

i am just constantly overwhelmed with the amount of love and support we get from people when they find out about you guys.  it's a really odd feeling because dad and i know we had very little to do with this.  we feel we are simply God's hands and feet, and we are answering the call!  you and your friends have inspired a lot of people to contribute in so many ways - sponsorships, forever families, donations, fundraising, and so many others.

this whole journey just continues to prove to me that there is good and beauty in this world.  you four are a HUGE part of that beauty!  i love you.  i miss you.  we won't be able to Skype this week because we're going to go talk to a counselor about adoption.  we are doing everything we can to prepare for the easy and the hard when you guys get here.

love you like crazy and miss you bad.

mom

it's a brand new day (part two)...

Click here to see the start of our journey...

it's a brand new day...

dear kadey and boys,

i've been listening to a song over and over again lately.  the words say, "come rise up, come give love, what are you waiting for, it's a brand new day."  it's about dusting off the old and making it new.  seizing the day and forgetting the past.  give love today.  what are you waiting for?

i think the day i found out about you was my brand new day.  the old me is gone, and the new me sees this world with completely new eyes and feels things with a completely new heart.  i see things relative to you.  when something disappointing happens to me, i think about the disappointment you've dealt with.  when i'm envious of something someone else has, i think of the few things you have.  when i get angry at someone's actions, i think of the awful things that have been done to you.  when i don't like the meal i'm eating, i think of how many meals you've missed.  when i'm uncomfortable and tired, i think of the bed you sleep in now and the bed you didn't have for the first several years of your lives.  when i'm running for exercise and complaining about my hurting muscles, i think of how many times you had to run from danger to find safety...and how many times you might not have found that safety.

when i'm frustrated with my family, i think about how you lost your families - to death, to poverty, to hard life.

i am always reminded of all the life you've lived in such a short amount of time, and what a blessed life i've lived.  i can't wait for the day dad and i can make it up to you.  i can't wait for the day that you live in our house, you eat at our table, you sit in our laps and lay in our arms.  i can't wait for the day you feel our love for you and you know you are safe and cared for the rest of your lives.

today i miss you so much.  i know you are happy, healthy, safe, and loved by God and your caregivers, but i wish you were here so i could give you those things.

love,
mom

putting you to work...

kadey and boys,

just want you to know that dad is already making plans to put you to work when you get home.  some dads make their kids mow the lawn.  some dads make their kids bathe the dog, take the trash out, and make their beds.  i think dad (and mom) will still make you do all those things, but dad has additional plans.  he was made aware of your musical talents during our visit, and he is busy making plans.

sufian, you told us a long time ago that you loved to sing!  we got to hear you sing a lot during our visit, but i think this was my favorite performance...

in particular, he is very excited about your drumming skills, kadey.  he has shared with a lot of his musician friends just how talented you are with your hands and a drum, and so you can expect to be put to work in the studio when you get home!

foday, i think it's pretty clear you have an interest in guitar.

i have a feeling you're gonna take to music like a fish to water...

love, mom

home sweet home...

dear sweet, amazing children of mine,

today we got incredible news!  the raining season was able to raise all the money they need to move you and your friends into the brand new building that will be your new home.  some day soon i hope you have another new home (the more permanent kind) with us, but for now - this new place is almost more than we could hope for!

we got to visit the new building when we were there a few weeks ago.  it is gorgeous!  brand new, with a whole building dedicated to school.  the staff will have plenty of office space.  you all will live in family units with your caregivers which means more individual attention and love for all of you!  it also has a whole building that will be the guest house so when we come to see you we'll be so much closer and have even more time to spend with you (instead of climbing that giant hill!)

i'm just so excited you'll be in an even better place.  the more i tell people about our trip, the more i realize how incredibly blessed we are that our children are so loved, so happy, and so healthy!  and now with this new building 100 more kids will be loved just as much.

love you guys like crazy.  next week we have our first home visit so we can start to wrap up the homestudy.  hopefully dad will get to come see you again in a couple of months!  i get excited just typing about it!  you all are part of our lives every single day.  everyone asks about you.  so many people can't wait to meet you!  we are always thinking about you, loving you, and missing you.

tomorrow morning we'll skype, and for that i am so thankful!

love,
mom

the unknown...

to my sweet girl kadey,

that was quick!  we used to jokingly say that since we're going to have three boys, one day maybe God would bless us with a little girl with red hair.  i think he misunderstood because he sent us a little girl with NO hair!  (really, i think WE misunderstood.)

here are the things we don't yet know:  how to spell your first name (for sure), your last name, your exact age, where your parents are, if your parents are living, if you have biological siblings, what kind of ways you've suffered, and how you survived.

here are the things we do know:  you are LOVED by us, by your brothers, by the other kids at the center, and by the staff.  we know you are extremely smart, you're beautiful, you're funny, you have a gorgeous giggle, you're a talented drummer, you love to learn, you love to be hugged and kissed, and you are a survivor.

pastor daniel took us to see where you used to stay sometimes.  the building was very small with cement walls, no glass in the windows, no electricity, and no running water.  the roof was made of sheets of tin with rusted holes in them.  there was a woman on the front porch.  i'm not sure if this is the woman who sometimes let you in her door, but i met this woman the following sunday at church.  i was holding you and so she approached us and told me she was your auntie.  i recognized her as the lady from the porch.  she was not very kind, and she did not seem friendly.  you didn't really have a reaction to her, but you were also getting sick and had a fever.  i held you almost that entire morning during church because your head hurt.  every once in a while you'd look at the children from the community that had come to church that day and call them your sisters and brothers.  you still seemed unfazed by them.

kadey, you will be a challenge for me.  raising any child is a challenge, raising any adopted child is sometimes even more of a challenge, but raising kadey?  that feels like a whole different ballgame!  i don't know in what way you will be more difficult, but i do know that these difficulties will be the reason your story will be that much more incredible and miraculous.  sometimes my favorite quote to apply to so many different situations in life is, "it's the hard that makes it great."  rarely is something great or extraordinary if it comes easy, and these are the rules we Spillmans have chosen to live by.  it's not about easy or safe or normal.  it's about living life for God, stepping out of our comfort zone, having faith that we are doing what we are meant to do and will succeed at it, and wildly pursuing the unknown.  God promises that we will find him in the unknown.  how else are we to discover him if we pursue him in comfortable and safe ways?

you are the unknown, and i love you as that.  to me, that says your story is extraordinary and God-driven.

love,
mom

and p.s. - since we left last week, i've been told you don't fight anymore.  that makes me a proud momma!