dear kiddos,
IT'S TIME!!!!!!!
i'm in labor, my water broke, the babies are coming! not really, but that's the only way i can communicate the impatience, anticipation, fear, excitement, nerves and every other emotion you can feel when the arrival of your babies is so impending. i am leaving on a jet plane this saturday, november 16 and will arrive at the orphanage sunday night. i will be staying for a week, and WE will be returning to nashville, a mother and her three handsome sons, on november 25. just in time for Thanksgiving! just in time to give thanks for the greatest thing that's ever happened to us.
it seems like it's taken so long, but really we are lucky. we are blessed that our journey has taken less than two years, and for most people adopting internationally (or even domestically) it can take so much longer. we are lucky that you will be home for the holidays because so many people will spend another christmas separated from their children. we. are. blessed.
i've been thinking a lot lately about adoption and what it means. i read blogs by other adoptive parents that explain the hard and easy, the ugly and beautiful, how they think they were meant to do this and how they wonder if they've made a mistake. the truth is i've thought so much about writing a blog about this whole "adoption" thing, and i think i've come to the conclusion that i don't know enough yet. i won't really know until you all are here.
we are adopting because we are Christians, but we are adopting because we were given the opportunity to do the good thing for children who need a family and a future. we adopt in the name of Jesus, but we also adopt in the name of love. we don't adopt just because we are Christians, but we do adopt because we believe in a loving God and that He has given us this unique opportunity. i believe adoption is a tragedy, but i believe that tragedy can become triumph. sometimes i wish adoption didn't have to happen, but sometimes selfishly (so, so selfishly) i'm glad that adoption happened to us because now we have you. it is a massive mixture of emotions, and i'm sure those emotions will change and morph over time.
i have this naive vision that we will all be happy and healthy. that it will be an easy transition. that you all will have some behavior or emotional issues, but not too bad. that i will be stressed and pulled in a lot of directions, but not so many that i can't continue to work, continue to serve The Raining Season, and be the best mother on the planet. but ohhhhhhh, the truth is i have no idea. dad and i simply have no idea, and so we are just asking people for their love, support and prayers that we can do a bang up job at this whole parenting thing.
maybe the sad thing is that i continue to think about this whole thing from MY perspective and not yours. i would be remiss not to acknowledge that you are about to leave everything you've ever known. your birth country, your language, your food, your smells, your friends, your caregivers, and your birth family - including your mother who still lives and loves as much as the day you were born. the tragedy is that, in order to have a family, this massive breakaway must happen. you cannot go back to your birth family. you should not have to stay in an orphanage. and so more heartbreak and loss is necessary to give you a life that you deserve. it is not a journey that any child should take, but it is your journey. and we can only hope that God and dad and i can repair that brokenness along the way. in this case, love is not enough. it is a big, big requirement, but it will not be enough. we will all need support from friends and family, intervention by health and educational professionals, patience like we've never had before, and faith in our God that He will provide.
the important thing is...YOU'RE COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!
and my dear girl, kaday, someday you too will come home. it may not be on our timeline, but God has a plan for you. you are too exceptional, your story too compelling for Him not to have an incredible, beautiful plan for you. i love you. i will have to say goodbye to you, but there are many more hellos in our future.
i love you all, and i can't wait to see you.
mom
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