dad keeps reminding me to focus on the positive and not the sad, but it's so hard to see your sad face on Skype and know what my leaving you behind is going to do to your little heart. so beautiful and so sad. it absolutely kills me.
we decided to split up you and your brothers for Skype every week from now on. i think it's only fair to give you your own time with us and give your brothers their own time with us. every time we Skype, inevitably adoption and America enter the conversation. the look on your face crushes me. you sit back in your chair and you look down and cross your arms...and it absolutely kills me.
dear Lord, please, please, please keep watch over Kaday. please help her not to be sad. please help us to have the faith that you've got this under control. i pray that we get a meeting with Kaday's birth family. i pray that we can communicate to them that they are doing the right thing by relinquishing guardianship. please help me not to harbor anger toward her birth family. please help me understand that they come from a hard past, hard lives, and their treatment of their birth daughter is a direct result of the hardships they've encountered. God, i just want to love this little girl who has never known love in her whole entire life. she's known sadness, illness, abuse and abandonment. please, please Lord, help us to find a way to bring her home to our family where she will know love and safety for the rest of her life.
in Jesus' name we pray, amen.
i love you, Kaday. we will find a way, i promise.
mom
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