the oldest...

Originally posted March 7, 2012:

sweet, wonderful boy foday,

you are the oldest.  you seem wise beyond your years.  you are always first to answer our questions on skype.  the first to prod your brothers to answer.  the first to say hello, and the first to say ‘i love you.’

your sponsors tina and hanna tell me that you are so sweet and protective.  that you take care of abdul and sufian.  you are so well-behaved.  kind to others.  always trying to do the right thing.

how can i say just how proud of you i am?  you are just 7 years old, and yet you have experienced too much.  too much loss, too much sadness, too much hardship, and too much responsibility.  never time to be a kid.  never a chance to just have fun.

i wonder if you worry.  i wonder if you are scared.  i wonder if you are lonely.  i wonder if you remember your birth father and the loss of him.  i wonder if you remember the day your birth mom surrendered you to the center.

i hope you know we love you.  you are always on my mind.  always.  i think about how i will love you, kiss you, and show you how to have fun.  i imagine what dad will do with you - play, laugh, and love.

i pray that god will bring you to us one day, and that you will know how loved you are and how you can let go and be a kid.  we will take care of you.  and god will always take care of you.

i promise.  god promises.

love, mom