a hundred documents...

Dear boys,

People always talk about how much work a homestudy is.  I sort of enjoy gathering all these documents that “prove” we’ll be good parents (criminal reports, financial statements, mental health evaluations..well, we won’t talk about that one…), but it is pretty tedious.  Turns out most government doesn’t function online.  You have to call, fax, or go in person to request official documents.  They still require personal interaction?!  Guess so.

So, yes, we’ve started our homestudy!  No idea when we can bring you guys home, though.  That’s the number one most asked question in our lives - when do we get to bring you back?  For starters, you sweet boys don’t even know we want to adopt you.  We’re supposed to wait to talk to you about it until there’s more official movement with Social Welfare and the court system.  TRS is also waiting to get an official approval from the leader of your old home, Shenge village.  They say all the birth families of Shenge have jointly decided adoption is in the best interest of their children, but cultural traditions say the village leader has to give the final say.  Erica and Tina are both there now, so I hope they have some info for us when we arrive next week.

Erica told me when she was there in April your aunt came to see you and talk to the staff at the center.  She confirmed some of your history and talked with the staff about adoption and what that means.  Erica said she was very sweet and seemed really positive about everything.  Ab and Fo, you guys said hello and ran off to play with your friends.  Suf, she managed to convince you to sit in her lap for a little while and hug on you.  You liked her!  I don’t know if you guys remember her.  Suf, you were only about 18 months old when you arrived at the center, so I don’t think you would.  Ab and Fo, you may remember her…but you were also very young.  Your aunt said your birth mom was unable to make it that day.  We think maybe she had farming work to do and could not afford to leave.  You were polite boys to her.  Thank you for being kind boys.
Some day I hope we can go to Shenge and see your birth mom.  I hope you can hug her and talk with her about your childhoods and your birth father.  Maybe she can tell you some things about your birth family.  Maybe she can see that the extremely difficult decision of giving you up and surrendering her parental rights had a happy and positive result on you.  But I know it will also present challenges for you.  You will always wonder why, and how, and it will always be a part of your life.  I hope you know she did it because she loves you.  Because she wanted you to live, have a chance, and be part of something better.
Someday I hope we meet because I’d like to hug her and tell her I’m sorry she couldn’t care for you.  That she is a woman I admire.  That she is loved by her birth sons, their mom and dad, and by God.

Love,
Mom