dearest kids,
a friend of mine and Auntie Meganjames' wrote this about our situation. i thought she said it beautifully, and so i wanted to share it with you. some day when you're older, you'll realize we took this step out of FAITH...nothing more...nothing less.
i love you so much!
http://www.365daysofcountrymusic.com/uncategorized/adopting-too-many-orphans-is-a-good-thing/
I haven’t yet addressed this whole subject here on the blog because I simply couldn’t figure out how to put something like this into words. My all time favorite word is mercy. Graceranks pretty high up there. A wood carving of blessings hangs in my living room to remind me of the privileged life I lead. But the word that I think best describes this entire situation: shock. No, I’m kidding. It’s faith.
When Megan – Obsessed, as you know her here – first told me about her baby project, I wasn’t at all surprised. In fact, I didn’t really think much of it. She’s always doing amazing things like this and she’s my only friend who has rampant baby fever like me. (Not that we were looking to have babies atthis moment, but we live for holding babies, and we like to talk of stealing other people’s babies (just temporarily). And we’re not afraid of babies. And, you know, we were never opposed to finding the right guy and just totally going along with his plan if he was ready for babies. That sort of thing. Baby fever = we know we want babies // everyone pretty much knows we want babies.) (I probably shouldn’t have said we have baby fever or tried to explain it.) Obviously I thought it was a wonderful thing to do, but it was not a shocking thing to do. Not for Megs. When she told me, my Mema was literally dying in hospice. Megan sent me a picture of the babes to cheer me up and explained that they were becoming a forever family. And it was just so appropriate. I suppose I get the baby gene from my Mema, who birthed twelve of them. Some might think that’s shocking. But it wasn’t. It was just Mema. And Megan adopting four orphans? That’s just Megan.
So I knew about it before the general public did. (Because duh, I’m like her soul mate.) And then this weird thing happened when people started finding out about it. Hey, that was back when it was just two orphans! Remember that? When Megan was only kinda sorta philanthropical? Ha. Anyways, people started asking me things like “what is this about Megan adopting orphans?” and “what is she thinking” and “did you tell her she is crazy?” and “I’m just not sure that she knows what she is getting into” and “how is she going to do it?”
And oooohhhh. Oh man. REALLY? My initial reaction to this was anger, because it felt judgmental. And I know that’s not what anyone meant (at least I hope it wasn’t), but it felt that way. It just seemed like everyone was sitting around being comfortable and then someone they know steps out of the comfort zone and they go “hold the phone! You don’t know what’s out there! You’re crazy!” Well…
DUH.
So the first few times it happened, I just said “I think it’s really brave.” and quickly changed the subject because I didn’t want to start a fight over something no one was trying to fight about except me, because I have this sort of passionate loyalty to people I love and their decisions. And it is really brave. But now, I’d like to answer these questions and attempt to explain what the heck her gung ho heart is doing.
“What is this about Megan adopting orphans?”
Yeah. She’s adopting orphans. Do you know Megan? Megan has always wanted to adopt. Hello. She wants a Brangelina family, and I’m super jealous, because I told an ex long ago that I wanted to be the Branglina of Music Row, and he laughed. And she beat me to it! Dammit!!!!!
“What is she thinking?”
Well, she’s not thinking, she’s acting. As I previously addressed, she’s been thinking about adoption since she could think, I think. She is beyond thinking. She is doing.
“Did you tell her she is crazy?”
Well, yeah, of course I did. But I told her that long before she adopted orphans. We bonded over the whole she’s-batshit-crazy-lifestyle personality disorder. It’s kind of our thing. She’s currently ahead of me on the scale though, and I suppose I’ll never top adopting four orphans unless I adopt five orphans. We’ll see I guess. But okay, if you can’t get beyond the crazy, here ya go:
Secular explanation from the great historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich: “Well behaved women seldom make history.”
Biblical explanation from Joshua 14:9: “The land on which your feet have walked will be your inheritance and that of your children forever, because you have followed the Lord my God wholeheartedly.”
Boom.
“I’m just not sure that she knows what she is getting into.”
No, she doesn’t. There’s no handbook. Or maybe someone out there is currently authoring How To Live Life After You Bring Home Your Four African Orphans: You’ll Never Make Any Mistakes With The Help Of This Guidebook. Which would be like totally serendipitous timing. But you know how most parents of newborns say “I knew how tired I would be. I knew exactly what this love would feel like.” ??? And you know how parents always know that they made the right decision, that they made the right plan, that they chose the right education for their children, that they provided the exactly appropriate emotional support. ??? No one ever second guesses their parenting skills, right? And everyone who gives birth knows exactly what they are getting into.
OH WAIT.
So yeah, this is the most inane response of all. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE GETTING INTO WHEN THEY HAVE CHILDREN. Otherwise, half the breeders might not even do it. Or they would, whatever. But either way, no one has any idea about the highs and the lows and the love and the discourse and the incredibly impossible unexpectedly rewarding hard work. It’s unlike anything you will ever experience. But hey, what do I know, I don’t have any. That’s all just hearsay from generations of the human race procreating. Which leads me to…
“
How is she going to do it?”
I don’t know. She doesn’t know. And this is where that great word comes in:
faith. How are you going to manage your future? Oh, I get it. You must know exactly what is going to happen with your life and the steps you are going to take to live it? Eeeehhh,
wrong. When your feet hit the floor every morning, you are being
faithful.
Faithful that your legs are going to work to get you out of bed. And for the rest of your day, you are running on
faith that your plans for whatever you are doing are going to be effective. And when they aren’t, you are having
faith that you will somehow be equipped to navigate the unknown. Yes, she is making logical plans. Emotional plans, financial plans, baby daddy plans.
But the big picture plan is just one word: faith.
Faith that God’s plans are greater and far more logical than our own.
Faith that people are praying
with her and
for her and Josh and the babies and the well-being of the whole situation. So whether it’s
your situation or
my situation or
Megan & Josh’s situation or
Melissa & Jeremy’s situation, we could all stand to do a little
lessquestioning and a little
more supporting and
a lot more praying. Let’s all be
faithful. Because you know who has been waiting for someone’s tiny mustard seed
faith to grow into giant leaps and bounds of
faith?
These four faithful hearts.
Call her crazy, but I like crazy. And I like babies. And I like passion. I love her heart and I love her faith.
(thank you, meesa, for your very kind words. i could never have said it better myself.)
mom
